right now I am watching the food network. i don't know why I watch food shows late at night because it makes me hungry and I try not to eat after 7pm. it hasn't happened this week. i am learning I am an emotional eater. aaron is in the final couple weeks of his "busy season." i really don't like it. when it is quiet and I am bored and feel sorry for myself for not having a husband home i eat. Tonight it was a bowl of cereal and two Reese's pieces cups. (i heart those very much)
as i started feeling sorry for myself I said to myself..... jamie knock it off... you are so blessed!!!
and i am
i am grateful that truly i am not single parent. i have a husband who goes to work everyday and works really really long hours... for us. So I can go to target and get things I need. and sometimes things i don't need. So I can stay at home with our little ones and create a home where i hope they can thrive. Some days I'm not the mom I want to be. I'm not the "fun mom" that I wanted to envision myself being. Sometimes I yell at the girls when they splash water all over the bathroom floor (like tonight). Sometimes I am just trying to survive dinner, to then survive baths, to then survive stories and then bed.
then it is all worth it when anna snuggles up to read and book with me. or I finally get them quiet as I attempt family night. i realize that each day is new, and I can start over and be better. a better mom, wife, friend, sister, daughter.
carter couldn't be a better baby. i love him more than I ever thought. what a privilege it is to be a mother. i think that the challenges that motherhood beings, also brings its greatest blessings. i am trying lately to enjoy the small moments more. they pass too quickly.
anna is my challenge lately. i think we are a lot alike. she is feisty, and emotional. i love her.... when I don't want to send her to join a Russian circus :) jk
brooklyn is growing up too fast. she is suddenly a little girl and not my toddler. i always tell her to stop growing and stay little forever. she says, "mom, you know I can't do that" I know and it makes me sad. it would be nice though when she can wipe her own bum.
carter is a doll. if he wasn't, getting up 3 times a night to feed, burp and change a diaper would make me crazy. i can't wait to see what kind of little boy he'll be. my friends that already have boys have warned me. bring it on!
aaron is my hero. i don't know how he works the hours he does. He is a great dad and always makes time to fullfill all of his responsibilities. he only sees me in my pjs with no makeup... probably drooling on my pillow. that stinks. i hope one day we can go out to a super fancy dinner and I can wear a new dress and some fierce heals. Then go out to a swanky hotel and spend a glorious child free night together and then get breakfast brought up in the morning.
i love you A!
I am blessed
4 comments:
Hey, my boy is soooo sweet- I want to eat him. My how the girls have grown since you moved in. And Carter is growing so fast... He even fits into the short I bought him in the picture! You are a great everything Jamie! And, your emotional eating never shows. You are teeny. Not that I'm trying to objectify you, but come on, you could not look any better 6 weeks postpartum. BTW, HAPPY 6 week B-DAY Carter Boy! And, I've seen you without makeup and you are gorgeous- inside and out. I hope you are sleeping as we speak. See you tomorrow.
I loved everything about this post. Like you, I also love Target, reeses chocolate and relate to the sentiment you so eloquently expressed about Motherhood. You survive the tough moments and then panic when you realize it's passing too fast.
Sure, boys and girls are wired differently but I certainly am over the moon (like you are for Carter) with Henry. I see the way my husband loves his Mom and hope that Henry will love me like that someday too. It's so fun to see updates pictures of Carter. He could not be any cuter. Seriously.
You're doing great. That's gotta be rough to be a "single mom" for many months of the year. Bring your girls over to play more often so they can keep Jazlyn entertained...she's my challenge of late too. I thought the oldest was supposed to be the easiest?
I could very well steal all those words, post them as my own, and I would never know it wasn't me that typed it (except for the different kids and ages :)). I love reading things I relate to...thanks!
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